likeiwanttodosomuch

Well, two years on from my first post here I am over educated and unemployed.  Most of today was spent looking on Craigslist for something different and local.  I took three surveys for paid studies and emailed a couple others for additional details.  There are many openings to sell multiple level marketing CBD oil.  Another post was a “middle aged man” with no social media skills wanting to hire someone to create a website/FB account for his business.  Hmmm..  It sounded too creepy to even ask.  My mom is a senior and she is an internet whiz.

I can’t really complain though.  This past September to June 2019 I worked at a high school as a 1:1 paraprofessional for a 9th grader with non-verbal, severe Autism.  He was a trip!  Probably the best job I have ever had.  I’ll talk about him and his classmates in future posts.  I had to pinch myself that I was spending the day making sure this young man didn’t injury himself.  Meaning..he had this little propensity to elope.  No, he didn’t get married; eloping is usually running from the classroom, home, etc with the intent to run away and especially away from.  Everyday for three months this guy eloped out to the road beside the south side of the school.  I caught up with him most of the time, but a couple times he ran into the road.  Eventually I was able to keep him in the classroom, more on that to come.

My dream job working with my student was only for the nine months of the school year.  My last day was at the end of June.  Unemployed again…

Interviews again..5 in the past month.  Most of them end with “thank you, but we are interviewing oodles of other candidates and it will be at least two weeks until you hear back from us.”  One of them took three weeks and I figured they weren’t going to hire me anyway, so just tell me.  Yawn….

You would think that as a writer I would have started a blog years ago.  I am embarking on a new and improved life, finally at a place where I need to venture up the ladder rather than crashing through the splintery rungs, falling on my ass, no parachute available.

I start so many projects:  sewing, photography, writing a novel, jewelry, cake decorating, candles…anything to ease the drudgery of a full time day job.  Then the project is past the honeymoon phase of beginning and planning, the elusive beginner’s mind.  Block out the old and buy a new pattern or book, cool fabric, stickers, multi-pack pens and quickly I lose interest.  I can’t get to the results fast enough, the anxiety of following through is just too much.  Anything can be easy to start, asking for help or finishing, not so much.

likeiwanttodosomuch

But I have not started a blog.  And I find it funny that this Microsoft Word has a red line under the word blog.  Isn’t that word securely ensconced into our vernacular?  So here goes with the proper introductions.  TA DA:

I am one of those older Gen-Xers, I was there for 80s new wave and then 90s grunge.  When the Clash first came to America, and the death of Kurt Cobain.  William S Burroughs,  super models, desert shield,  Reagan, tickle-me-elmo, I’m sure you know me.  I was a vegetarian for 20 years, got divorced and started eating meat again.  I’m dry but sometimes actually funny.

I don’t know where I’m going and I really have no idea how I got here.  I worked at the same company for too long until they finally laid me off.  I got too comfortable.  I thought that was what you did.  And I’m not that old.  I earned my Master’s in Counseling thinking that would be a good place to go, but most counseling right out of school pays $15/hr.  My internship was a bust and didn’t prepare me to go into an agency.  So back to the lay off.  I left March 2016 with no prospects except unemployment.  After a month of job searching with no prospects, I was able to get worker retraining through unemployment that paid my benefits for a year.  I decided to go back to school (once again) and I earned a certificate in Computer Networking, IT.

THAT WAS A BLAST.  I love IT, networking, enterprise, Linux, security, Windows Server 2012…I had the best time of my life.  One year certificate at a local technical college.  My teachers were amazing, the school cheered you through, I got to delay finding a job for another year.

So here I am once again.  No unemployment and no school and no job.  I guess I am in the limbo room from hell.  Not sure where to turn.  Keeping anxiety at bay.  Walking my dog, cooking from scratch.  Now I am sure I can keep up with this blog.

Stay tuned.  I’d like to make sense of why I am here.

like i want to do so much